Chapter 6: The Mushroom Gate

After everything collapsed —
the label, the love, the scaffolding of who I was building myself into —
there was silence.
A strange, empty silence.

At first, it felt like failure.
But in time, it started to feel like space.
And in that space, something found me.

While working a boring-ass day job that only required half a brain, I figured I may as well do something useful with the other half.

I started listening to lectures: Alan Watts, Ram Das, and eventually…
Terence McKenna.

I had stumbled across his lectures online, and for some reason, I was hooked — his voice calm and eerie, like some Professor of the Oracle who knew how deep the rabbit hole really went.
He spoke of five dried grams.
Dark room. Alone.
Eyes closed.
2:15 a.m. sharp.

It wasn’t just a suggestion.
It was a ritual.
A doorway.

So I did it.

I fasted. Prepared.
Made sure the apartment was empty.
Turned off all the lights.
Laid on the mattress.
No music. No candles. No distractions.
Just the silence… and the shrooms.

I took the dose.
Five grams of dried truth.
Laid back. Closed my eyes.
And waited.

What happened next is impossible to explain.
But I’ll try.

It didn’t feel like a drug.
It felt like a meeting.

I left my body — but not in the dramatic, floating-over-myself way.
It was quieter. More total.
Like the identity I’d been carrying just… disintegrated.
No name. No language. No persona.

Just presence.

And then… they came.

Beings. Entities.
I don’t know what to call them — not aliens, not angels.
But they were intelligent.
Benevolent.
Vast.

They didn’t speak in words, but I understood everything.
They showed me things.
Blueprints.
Patterns.
Code.
Not just outside me — but within me.

It felt like they were rewiring my operating system.
Tuning me to a different frequency.
Not to escape the world — but to re-enter it with intention.

At some point — a mere hour later which to me felt like a literal two weeks —
I came back.

Same room. Same floor.
But everything was different.
Like I had left as a story… and returned as a mission.

The silence wasn’t silence anymore.
It was sacred.

That night didn’t heal me.
It unmade me.
It showed me that all I thought myself to be, was not me.

It unraveled the first bit of a long roll of sticky tape that would take the next years to unravel. And as it unravelled, I would steadily become the very thing that I had experienced myself as being during my two weeks in the void – a vast and omnipotent spirit in the flesh.

This was the gate.
And I stepped through it.

Tagged as: p3rs0na / persona iluminado / persona origins